


Alonamm Meets a Conduit

by hot4Alonamm (haveyouconsideredsnakes)



Category: Nexus Clash
Genre: Bondage, F/F, Magical Bondage, magic use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:48:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3544967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haveyouconsideredsnakes/pseuds/hot4Alonamm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alonamm meets a Conduit that even she, in her Goddess-like powers, cannot kill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alonamm Meets a Conduit

Alonamm was in the land of the Elder Powers doing Important Elder Power Things when her finest GunPriestess, Alice Newbury, prayed to her and told her about a Conduit that could not be shot! No matter how many bullets she put into this Conduit, the Conduit continued to live as a Magic User! She could not be cured! And, lo, Alonamm was so shocked by this prayer that she had to see for herself! How could even her finest GunPriestess fail her?! Surely Alice was not trying hard enough, or perhaps not using enough GunBullets!

And so Alonamm took corporeal form, and traveled to the world of the Nexus. She first visited Elysium to see how her GunAcolytes were doing, and found that many of them had fallen into the Great Sin of Magic Use! And, lo, she was sad and disappointed in the way of a Sad and Disappointed Mother Goddess! And then she shot them with GuiltBullets, because that is what mothers do when they are disappointed with their children!

Then she saw a portal to Purgatorio and grimaced, because portals are magic and a Blasphemy against the Goddess! She destroyed the portal with her GunPowers, and then teleported to Purgatorio of her own violation, which is not Blasphemy because she is a Goddess and her magic doesn't count because it is not magic! Even though the definition of magic is a supernatural force of nature, which some scholars argue, she is as an Elder Power and/or amalgamation of Two Elder Powers!

But the narrator digresses! The finer points of our Faith and Dogma and GunGoddess Principles are not to be debated in this Fine True Story of Alonamm, Our Lady of Guns!

In Purgatorio, the Plane of Neutrality, she found a host of Godless Mages! There were even more Godless Mages than in Elysium! Alonamm thought of her finest GunPriestess, Alice Newbury, and wondered why she had not cured these Godless Mages! Alonamm then cured these Mages Very Thoroughly and then used Goddess Powers to determine what Alice Newbury was doing!

She was shocked and dismayed to find her sitting in a hot tub with a Wizard Apprentice and a Doctor Who Is Also a Wizard and thus a Magic User! And surrounded by Magic Users! Alonamm skipped the trip to Gehenna and teleported to Valhalla to confront her immediately!

And, there in the Plane of Mortals, she found the Conduit! The Conduit who could not be defeated! The Conduit spoke thus, "Hey, Alonamm, why don't trust your GunPriestess to do your work for you? Have you come here to defeat me? Or are you here to do as your Priestess is doing?" She wiggled her eyebrows beneath her Wizard Hat.

Alonamm was insulted! And outraged! How dare this Conduit in a Smartly Tailored Pantsuit that accentuated the Curve of her Hip imply that she was into That Sort of Thing! (By which, the Narrator means, Doing the Thing with the Mages!)

"How dare you! I shall negate your Horrid Mage-Existence immediately!" And, so the GunGoddess raised her ShotGun and pulled the trigger!

The bullet Mysteriously swerved out of the way! Like Magic!

"Really, do we have to do this first? I'm all for flirting, but I'm not into-"

The GunGoddess fired again, with all her GunGoddess powers behind it! And once again, she Missed! As an Elder Power, she ought to be One over the RNG, but it was Not So!

"Stop that! That's mean!" The Smartly Dressed Conduit raised her hand and wrapped a Rope of Pure Magic around Alonamm! "I was only trying to read in the library when your GunPriestess attacked me! What have I done wrong?"

"WHAT?" The GunGoddess shouted and struggled against her bonds mightily! "You're a Mage! You have done Mage Crimes! And you have unlawfully committed Mage Atrocities, like Living as a Mage and not Repenting Immediately by force of ShotGun!"

"Stop capitalizing every other word like it's important! That makes your words Really Hard to - Now I'm Doing it too! Stop!"

"I only Capitalize the Important words! And how can you see the Code that Is Generated when I speak that can only be read by the Creator and Elder Powers Ourselves?! And how are you able to Bind Me, which is a Fact I am curious about but would not like to acknowledge out loud in front of mortals, so I am going to say it Silently?!"

"Because, dear, Alonamm!" The Smartly Dressed Conduit pulled off her Wizard hat, revealing her face! "I am MarGoro! The Goddess of Magic!"

"NO!" And the GunGoddess Gasped, which is an Unintentionally Alliterate Phrase!

"Yes! Only an Elder Power can defeat another Elder power and take the blows of mortals without harm!" She waved her hand again, separating Alonamm from her ShotGun. "No, seriously, how did you not figure it out before? Didn't you know this was a trap from the start?"

"Of Course I Did! I am Ineffable and All-Knowing and Fell for Your Trap On Purpose!"

"Suuuuure."

"Are you Insulting Me? How Dare You!"

"That is not the point! For I have come here to tell you Things, dear Alonamm! Things! Great things! Did you know that your Guns can be enchanted with Magic?"

"WHAT?! Blasphemy!"

"It is true! Many of my followers have enchanted your creations, and in the process, they have created an even better gun!"

"How Dare you insult my Creations with your MageMagic! How dare you Defile my Creation with Flaws!"

"Flaws?! This is not a flaw!" MarGoro took Alonamm's ShotGun, enchanted it and pointed it at a building and pulled the trigger! The building exploded in an array of shrapnel and brick that killed many a poor mortal!

Alonamm was in awe! And envy! How could such a creation exist? And how had she not created it?!

"Don't you see, Alonamm? This is great! We could create such great things together! My followers could not have created such an awesome weapon without you having first created guns! You must create more guns! I command it!"

"You really like my guns?" Alonamm said, and was shocked that a Heretical Mage could have such an opinion.

"Yes! We could amend our doctrinal differences and unite as one Gun Power Couple! You build me the biggest gun and I shall enchant it with the enchantiest enchantment, and then we shall defeat all the other Elder Powers! Who do not use guns!"

"I accept!"

"But there's just one thing. Can you tell your GunPriestess and GunAcolytes to stop killing my followers for using magic on their guns? Winning the next breath will be more efficient if our followers work together instead of fighting one another!"

"It shall be done!"

"Also, could you stop randomly capitalizing things? It's really turning me off, and it'll put a damper on our sex."

"Only if I can tie you up next time!" Alonamm blushed!

"So long as the only guns involved are pointed at our shared enemies, I will allow this!"

"I agree!"

And so they went on to discuss their likes and dislikes! 

And so Alonamm was not redeemed, but she was smitten! 

And so the followers of Alonamm and Margoro were united by the marriage of their respective Elder Powers at a later date!

And so all the murder and shooting and killing in the Nexus continued, but no one was singled out or targeted unfairly for violence ever again! Except during raids between factions, or on the basis of morality, which is surely a fairer measure of who to target with violence!

And so the story ends! The story of how our gun goddess dedicated her life to creating bigger and better guns for her magic goddess girlfriend to enchant, and also never incorrectly capitalizing a word again! But this narrator is still going to end every sentence in an exclamation mark because it makes the story sound biblical!


End file.
